There is so much pressure by society to be the ‘Perfect Mom’ and unfortunately, it is also noticeable within the Muslim community. Mothers are truly super women yet it can be hard to keep up and find that ideal faith-home/work-life balance. Some of you may remember my 10 New Year Resolutions for Muslims post from last year, which can be useful for general goal setting for the new year. However, as Muslim moms, I feel our main priorities all revolve around our faith and our children. Hence, we have come up with 5 new year resolutions specifically catered for Muslim moms!
Some good news to share!
Is it already December? Wow! This year for me has been on a 2x speed setting and I cannot believe that I haven’t posted in SO long! As some of you guessed, Alhamdulillah I became a mom for the first time and have been taking my time to soak everything in. Nearly a year has passed since receiving my newly acquired title and during this time, I have come to realize what it means to be a mom.
Please note that I am by no means an expert and do not speak from a place of authority. I am simply a novice who is sharing tips for challenges I experience along the way. After countless advice and discussions with fellow moms in the various mom groups that I am in, I feel the need to share my discoveries and what has helped me with my readers.
We have now added a new section to the blog on ‘parenting’ and inshaAllah, there will be more content geared towards motherhood and raising children.
5 New Year Resolutions for Muslim Moms
As moms, we constantly have a running to-do list on our minds. From juggling work, family, the household, chores, and appointments… the list is endless! It almost seems impossible in finding time for ourselves – let alone sitting down to make some New Year Resolutions!
But now more than ever, I see the importance of finding that BALANCE between it all. We sometimes let work or ‘life’ take over and in that bustle, forget that we are first and foremost servants of Allah. It is no wonder that our beloved Prophet (saw) said ‘that Jannah lies under the feet of the Mother.’ She truly is the foundation of every home, holding it all together. However, we cannot have a foundation that is weak and falling apart. For us to be our best for our creator and our families, we can try to implement some goals that are practical and achievable. That is why these 5 new year resolutions for Muslim Moms are easy to incorporate and hopefully, would support you in having an amazing start to the new year.
5 New Year’s Resolutions for Muslim Moms
1. Put your family first
This must be one of the MOST important new year resolutions for Muslim Moms. Unfortunately, because of living in the West and how it has glorified that being busy supermoms is a good thing, sometimes we feel obliged to take on more than our plate can hold. For those of us with careers, we want to succeed in them and sometimes, it takes so much of our focus that we end up bringing home that work with us. It is on our minds, even after working hours are done.
Most of the time, without realizing it, we don’t put our families first.
We THINK we are but sometimes we may be putting other factors first like work, the house, others, etc. We feel obligated to that one person or thing and without realizing it, have put our loved ones last. And then when we go to bed that night, in comes that mom guilt /daughter guilt/wife guilt. We realize that we did not spend enough time with those who love us most as we always think ‘it’s ok, they’ll understand.’
Maybe we do not have time to answer calls from our parents as life has taken over. We may not have dedicated spending quality time with our children, taking time to hear about their day as we were too busy planning for the week or other tasks. As we are focusing all our energy in making everything perfect, we forget to be present and end up pushing our family last.
So, this year, make it a goal to be more mindful of who you are giving your time. Maybe schedule in a call for your parents. Look your children in the eyes when they tell you about their days. Or take it a step further by creating a prayer space in your home (I have a post about it here). So that you can bond together as a family over salah which also brings an immense amount of barakah into the home.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others
Unfortunately, we live in a time where we are bombarded with images of perfect families, everyone smiling in matching outfits under palm trees or pictures of Pinterest-style homes. These days, it is also very much present within the Muslim Mom influencer’s community, which makes things more difficult. As we can relate to them more, we may be wondering what we are doing wrong if we cannot manage to extravagantly decorate our homes for Eid.
We are bombarded with images of perfect lives 24/7, on all our social media platforms, and of course, this can tempt us to feel discontent with our own life. How many times have you felt down or sad after scrolling through Instagram? Though images of supermoms doing it all can seem harmless, these images stay with us in our minds. They cause us to maybe feel jealousy towards someone we don’t even know and potentially, be unappreciative of our blessings.
We live in an EXTREMELY competitive world right now where we are constantly comparing ourselves, our lives, our kids, etc. to others. And for some reason, it is usually when we are feeling our lowest that we fall into that endless-scrolling trap in which we end up feeling even worse and sorry for ourselves. So, what can we do to stop that? Allah gives us the answer in the following ayah:
And do not stretch your eyes to that thing which We have given parties of them to enjoy; (this is) the splendour of the life of the world that We may try them in it; and the provision of your Lord is better and more lasting.
QURAN – 20:131
He is telling us to not ‘stretch our eyes’ or FOCUS on things that may upset our inner peace and cause discontentment. Our answer is right there in the Quran. Whenever you are feeling low, focus on ‘the provision.’ Focus on what Allah has already provided you with and count your blessings. Think of those who may not have the blessings that you enjoy and instead, be grateful for what you do have.
3. Learn to live Minimally
The most popular New Year’s Resolution everyone usually has is to get healthier or lose weight. Am I right? And usually, in order to achieve this goal, we may end up purchasing items to get motivated. It could be a new yoga mat or water bottle. Does this sound familiar? That is why at the beginning of the year, most gym memberships are purchased. And unfortunately, according to statistics, a few weeks or months into the New Year, those items are sitting there unused, and the gym membership is forgotten about.
The January gym spike is real, but it drops off just a few weeks later, according to data from location and fitness apps.
SOURCE: BLOOMBERG
It doesn’t help that we are surrounded by videos and influencers that make us feel the NEED to have something or else we are missing out. Whether it’s ‘Amazon MUST haves’ or items that promise to make our lives easier, it is still STUFF that is accumulating in our homes.
To declutter the mind, we also need to declutter our homes.
Not only is it good for the environment, but it is also beneficial for our mental health. As discussed in our past post on ‘Islam and the Environment.’ ‘The benefit is that when we stop weighing our mind down with consumption and materialism, we feel freedom and happiness. We have more time to think about other things and improve our productivity. We have more time to fulfill our duties in pleasing Allah and making life more fruitful and meaningful.’
So maybe before buying anything new, start by decluttering what you already have. Go through your cabinets, wardrobes, and kid’s wardrobes, and as hard as it may be to part with some items, ask yourself if you really need them and if you have used or worn them in the past year. If not, then sister, it is time for those items to go in the donation pile. You can do it!
4. Spend more time on yourself
How many times have we listened to something in a lecture and been inspired by it, making an intention to act upon it? It could be something like reading one page of the Qur’an a day or perhaps learning a new skill. How many months or even years pass by without us getting down to doing what we had intended to do? To fit in some ‘me’ time in the new year for ourselves and on our OWN spiritual growth? The reality is, we usually end up putting ourselves last, be it from being burnt out from taking care of everyone or simply just procrastinating, it really is tough for us all.
So this year, find ONE thing for yourself that you want to achieve and create a plan on how you expect to achieve it. For example, if it is something like Quran Journaling (post on this here), is there any window in your day that you could fit that in? Perhaps 10 minutes after Salatul Fajr or in the car when you are waiting for your kids to finish their swimming lessons? If you put your mind to it, I am sure you can find a slot for it in your schedule. InshaAllah, make this a year where you accomplish whatever you have been longing to do.
5. Give yourself more credit
The final new year’s resolution for Muslim moms is simply, to give yourself more credit. I know it is easier said than done but mama, truly, the status of a mother is SO high in Islam! Unfortunately as moms, we are our own biggest critics. We are always striving to be the best for our families and sometimes, striving for perfection can be draining. Remember, you are doing the best you can.
Especially to the mamas with younger children, I am sure right now it feels as if you have no other identity than being a mom. Your entire day may just revolve around feeding, nap schedules, school runs etc. There may be other things you want to do, achieve or be a part of. But right now, remember that your current role as a Muslim Mom is essential.
The Prophet (saw) explained that a woman was a fighter in Allah’s way from the time she became pregnant up to the time she delivered, and from the time she began breastfeeding till the time she stopped. If she died during that period, her position would be that of a martyr.
SOURCE: AL-ISLAM.ORG
We may feel guilty for not being able to perform extra prayers or ibadah, but remember, the one who loves us the most understands us. He knows what we are going through and loves us the same.
So mama, this New year, make it your resolution to keep reminding yourself that YOU GOT THIS!
And that’s our 5 New Year Resolutions for Muslim Moms!
I hope these New Year Resolutions for Muslim moms inspired you. I would love to hear your feedback! Feel free to message me on my Instagram or drop me an email!
Wishing all of you dear sisters a safe, prosperous, and blessed New Year ahead inshaAllah.
Related Posts:
10 New Year Resolutions for Muslims
How to Start Quran Journaling – For Beginners
Islam and the Environment – How to be an Eco-Friendly Muslim
Love this post! Inspired me a lot! Thanks
Thank you, appreciate the feedback 🙂